By chance (and clicking around the internet), I came across Frank O’Hara’s poem Having a Coke with You.

It starts:

Having a Coke with You

is even better than San Sebastian, Irun,…

WAIT! STOP! SCREW YOU, FRANK!

You don’t know what you’re talking about. Nothing is better than San Sebastian. Frank O’Hara is just some shitty, artsy-fartsy, postmodern obsurantist who doesn’t recognize the objective fact that San Sebastian is the (probably scientifically proven) greatest place on Earth.

I am going to print this poem, climb to the top of Monte Urgull, and let it go. Defying the laws of physics, the sheet of paper containing the poem will drop like a stone, impaling itself on one of Txillida’s combs. There it will remain for the amusement of locals and tourists, who will laugh at Frank O’Hara’s achievement in simultaneously reaching the pinnacle of hubris and idiocy in just 11 words of poetry.

Then I read the rest of the poem. It’s pretty good.